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Feb 16, 2010
Another short conversation about the issue of being late and how
that has impacted our marriage.
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Oh Lord Love a Duck!! This must truly be an issue in every marriage!
We\'ve been married for twenty four years,and it is my husband who is always late. I knew this coming into the marriage. In fact, I told him our wedding started thirty minutes earlier than the actual time, so that I knew he would be ON TIME! I love this man beyond reason, I married him in spite of his perpetual tardiness, and we\'ve been super happy for almost a quarter of a century. Do I like his tardiness? No. I think it\'s a sign of disrespect. How do I handle it? If the event is something really, really important, I tell him an earlier start time. The rest of the time I bite my toungue and do everything I can to hurry him along, like schlep all the stuff to the car, have the coffee poured and the keys waiting, and make sure that the rest of the family (four teens!)is ready on time.
It is so hard when the kids are babies to get everyone clean, dressed and out the door at the same time, on time. For everyone in the family, a few deep breaths, some compassion and a smile go a long way towards smoothing over the late issue.
In our house, it is the male figure who is always late, but if you asked him if he is always late, he would say no. He figures things get started when he gets there. Oh man of importance. As you can see, this is an issue with many and is probably right up there with the issue of money. I grew up with parents who were always early to things and still are. I have to make a conscious effort to do as many things as I can the night before or hours before we must exit the house. With lots of kids in tow, if I did not do this, we would never make it anywhere on time. Just because something starts at say 6:00, that doesn\'t mean that you have to get there at 6:00. What\'s wrong with 5:50? For me, it is an issue of people\'s perception of you. If they see you always arriving late for something, they get a negative perception of you. Now, is that an OK thing? I don\'t know, but it does happen. All I know is that with little kids, you\'ve got to give yourself some wiggle room.
I have only a minute as my 5 week old is about to wake up from her nap to nurse, she is our third girl, our oldest turned 5 yesterday, we have a two year-old and the baby. Why do I mention them? Because I too always would sit in the car with my father and siblings as we waited for my mother to run back in and out of the house three times to get something and I just wondered why she was making us late when she knew we were due to leave. Well, now as a mother of three I know, I am always so busy taking care of the little ones that I wait to get ready last, use the bathroom and get dressed, put the things I\'ll need in my bag etc. I have to make sure the girls are dressed, have used the potty, have on the right outerwear such as hats, mittens, and boots in the winter, sunscreen in the summer and then I can finally get ready and then while my husband gets the kids in the car, I find myself running around last minute. Just my two cents. God Bless.
This is the 1st time I hear your program and I have subscribed to it. Congratulations for the show and thanks for doing it. It is nice to see the faces of those involved in it via the photos in your web site.
About this show, it is true, mums take care of everyone and want to make sure everything is okay before leaving... but... if she is always late 5 minutes to Mass, she should wake up 5 minutes earlier. Would she also take it easy if it would be to go to work or to her univesity class? No, so why for Mass? The same respect we would show our employer or our professor and classmates, is the same respect we need to give God, the priest and the congregation. Also, it gives the children the sense that we need to give God and Mass the respect they deserves. By the way, I am a woman :-)
LATE.... In our household it is my husband who is \"always\" late so I had to smile at your scenario. My theory on Mom\'s \"always\" being late is.... generally Mom\'s take care of everyone and everything before they take care of themselves. Therefore it makes perfect sense that they are the last to arrive at the car on the way to church! : )
A podcast about a Catholic couple raising kids in a small town.
Faith. Family. Fun...Scandalous.
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